Kayla Coghlan
Ms. Becker
Period 6
What
exactly is our dress code?
Have you ever wondered what our dress code is, or if we
even had one? Well here at Kennedy, we do, and it’s a pretty good one. Our
dress code has the basics no sexual offensive messages, tasteless or obscene
messages, violence of laws and school messages. Basically, anything that isn’t
appropriate for school grounds. Some
kids get bullied because of the clothes they wear so I asked Mr. Kline (the
principal of Kennedy) on what his thoughts were about having a school uniform.
He states “It could be considered. May be a violation of board policy and that
may have to be changed to make it happen.” Having a uniform may upset the
students but would it stop bulling? Today, you must wear name brand things
including, Nike, Adidas, Champion, American Eagle… etc., If you have these
clothes you are considered “popular”.
In schools, our teachers and administrators should pay a little more attention to what their students are wearing. As a freshman I pay a lot of attention to our school, the people that go here, how they act, what they wear, and I tend to notice a lot. Earlier this week I noticed that a girl only had leggings and a sports bra on but how are they able to get away with that. Guys have their pants to their knees and they are wearing belts. I don't feel that its distracting to were I cant learn I feel as though its more annoying and frustrating that they are getting away with that. As a school we should get together and talk about the importance of covering your body, and we should talk about our dress code. At the beginning of the year everyone got a handbook, but did people really read it, and if they did, did they really care about what our dress code is, or did they just skim through it and ignore it?
In schools, our teachers and administrators should pay a little more attention to what their students are wearing. As a freshman I pay a lot of attention to our school, the people that go here, how they act, what they wear, and I tend to notice a lot. Earlier this week I noticed that a girl only had leggings and a sports bra on but how are they able to get away with that. Guys have their pants to their knees and they are wearing belts. I don't feel that its distracting to were I cant learn I feel as though its more annoying and frustrating that they are getting away with that. As a school we should get together and talk about the importance of covering your body, and we should talk about our dress code. At the beginning of the year everyone got a handbook, but did people really read it, and if they did, did they really care about what our dress code is, or did they just skim through it and ignore it?
I think that the conclusion is a little rushed, and also there are some wording issues. But other then that it is a good topic to talk about, and I think you could build up even more on it too.
ReplyDeleteThis is more of an opinion piece. I can roll with that, but do a little research on what that kind of writing looks like. You make some really interesting points, but you follow through on some more than others. So is the point about the dress code itself, inconsistent follow-through on the dress code, ignorance of the dress code, or how it would be better if we had a school uniform? Hm. It depends on what you really want to write about.
ReplyDeleteI think in order to make this a news story you shouldn't have used words like "I" or "we". I also noticed that there were some spelling/ grammar mistakes that could have been fixed if you just read back through it. I like your topic and think it is news worthy!
ReplyDeleteI feel like this skipped around a lot. The topic is really interesting ,but the title didn't really fit the piece. I would try to focus on one aspect, or maybe two, rather than cover everything about the dress code and nonconformity in regards to.
ReplyDeleteI thought that this was interesting to read about, and loved how you included a quote from Mr. Kline about the issue as well. However, the piece just felt a little rushed to me, and pretty opinionated. A part of this piece that I'd suggest revising would be that last sentence in the first paragraph. I felt that this sentence was randomly stated, and wasn't really followed up. Like why are people who wear these name brand clothes popular, and why do people feel they have to wear them?
ReplyDeleteI thought this was interesting, a lot of people just sort of know the dress code it's almost common sense. If you were to make this a little more news like you could have tied in a few example of different dress codes or why other schools may actually use uniforms. I did like the information you gave though!
ReplyDeleteI feel like it would have made more sense if it were less opinionated, in a more news type piece. Otherwise it was good.
ReplyDeleteThis is kind of confusing and didn't have much a main focus, i like where this could have gone though. I felt like you could have gone more in depth with what the dress code actually was. This was good though.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the first few sentences of your article, but after that it fell apart. It could have been a lot better if you removed your own opinion entirely. It doesn't fit with the "news" part of your article. I made the same mistake, so I should know that putting opinions in factual stories isn't a good idea.
ReplyDeleteYour topic really does have potential, but it should be refined into a clearer idea.
I would suggest also talking to some students and asking them questions about the dress code for example freshman who are just coming to this school and seniors who have been here for a little while....if you go from that angle. Also in the first paragraph last sentence or two, I wouldn't say those brands made us seem as you said popular but more as were "with the time". Other than those few things i think this was a great topic and very intresting
ReplyDeleteI think this is a topic a lot of students complain about, but nobody is actually doing anything about it. I like that you addressed the topic, but what exactly are you trying to prove? I think with a little bit of editing and a clear point of writing this could be a really good article. But, I like your questions at the end, but maybe you could try and answer them?
ReplyDeletethe writing was good, but I not sure if the name brand an popular thing was true, but the rest was great
ReplyDeleteI like the topic you chose to focus on even though I'm not for school uniforms. I know people who make fun of others for not wearing name brand stuff (it's annoying). But the article was good their were maybe one or two run-ons which could easily be fixed and this was also an opinion piece which wasn't half bad. you got your point across it was just a little jumpy.
ReplyDeleteI thought that the topic was good, but you included more of your opinion then there needs. I thought that it seemed mostly based of of your opinion, then the actual topic of why we need school dress codes. Some people can be a little bit showy with themselves, which would've been a fair reason why we need dress codes. when you added your opinion on it being frustrating, i think it made the point a missed opprotunity to get people on your side. Personally I don't really know what the dress code it, so this helped a bit I also really liked how you ended yours with a question.
ReplyDeleteI feel like, you tried to be more of a news piece at the start but it started to fall apart in the second paragraph making it seem more like an opinion piece than news. Your topic is interesting and could make a great story but it just seems like a rant near the end. Maybe getting more sources for information and other opinions could make the article a better news story as well as more information than opinion.
ReplyDelete